I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
