Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
