I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
