garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Porn is love you can see.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Welp...herpes.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
