i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
