you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
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