So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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