your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
