I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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