okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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