i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
