I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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