I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I didn't shave. On purpose
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
birth control should be required to get into college
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
