theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm getting married
To pizza
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
