the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
