Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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