i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
