Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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