I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
