I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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