is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
two words: eviction party
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
