weddingsv make me drug and hornr
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
