he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
