I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
