It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
