SEEEEXXX PLEASE
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
