girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
