its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
