def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
