You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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