Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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