Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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