capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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