I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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