It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
