it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
