i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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