Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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