White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
