um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
