she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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