Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
