Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
