i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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