Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize