drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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