the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
