just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We left the knife in your bed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
