hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
