I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
